Breakdown the pieces of your heart
by KathBell
Summary: Ryan had been shot, an event which threatens to change the team forever. Eric/Calleigh. Ryan/OC Friendship.
1. Normal to a disaster

**Authors note: A visit to the past now for Ryan and Amelia! This story is set in New York and Miami. It will alternate between present day and New York day. This is a multi-chapter story. This can also stand-alone, you don't have to read the rest of the series to understand as I will explain it in the story but I would love you to read them also! Please review! **

**Disclaimer: Only own Amelia, Sophie, Kate Wolfe and the nurses.**

**Red Angel: Chapter one. **

The day had been normal. Ryan had given her a lift to work, she had threatened Eric with many things that would scare him and make Ryan laugh, they had gone to the scene and then they had caught the bad guy with great ease. It was a simple day, which was what she liked. Amelia was sitting in Ryan's, drinking some water. She never drank alcohol after the heartbreak it had caused on her family. Horatio had asked Ryan to stay behind to go through something. Annoying little... She shook her head. Sometimes, it annoyed her, the way that the team treated Ryan. Sure, he had replaced on of their deceased close-friends, but so had she. Ryan's previous partner – Hope – had been killed in an explosion, and then she had came in and yeah, for about a week or so they had not gotten along, but then he started to warm up to her and now look at them, brother and sister. It annoyed her how they never really had accepted him into their team, and still made him do all the boring paper work.

He never complained. She shook her head. That was not the Ryan she knew. She took a sip of water and looked around the, as she and Kate had appropriately named Ryan's first apartment, super-clean, mega-organized, apartment. Both her and Kate had been very drunk when they wrote that on the wall. She smiled fondly at the memory of Ryan returning from the precinct to find both her and Kate asleep under the rug and the apartments nickname written in blue paint on his very expensive wallpaper.

She decided then that she would never, ever, piss off her partner/sisters boyfriend/best friend. A small giggle escaped her throat, but she managed to squash it down when her phone started to ring. She glanced at the caller I.D as she brought it to her ear. Eric. Damn, I do not want to have a case tonight because I intend on sitting in with Ryan, watching TV, and falling asleep on the sofa, only to find myself in his bed in the morning and yelling at him for taking the sofa, she ranted in her head as she answered. "What do you want, Delko? I'm not it the mood."

"Where are you now?" Eric sounded as if he was driving, and the worry could be heard in his voice. She felt her stomach drop.

"Ryan's apartment, why, what's happened?" There were only two people something could've happened to for Eric to be asking her this; Horatio and Ryan, because if it was Calleigh, she would probably be the one asking where he was.

"I'll tell you when I get there, I want you outside, waiting by the road, bring your gun, have it ready." She heard the accelerator in the car Eric was driving, which meant that he was going way to fast. "Do. Not. Hang. Up. Whatever you do, understand me Carter?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure I do." She answered in a rushed voice as she grabbed her things from the apartment. Her bag, her coat, both her and Ryan's guns. "Where's Ryan? If you don't tell me I'll hang up." She threatened, "Then I will break you bones."

"He's being taken to Miami General, that's all I know. Horatio said that you could be a target too and to get you to the hospital, which is what I am doing kid." She felt like someone had just kicked her in the stomach. She struggled to breathe for a few seconds, and she could tell that Eric was worried that she would have another panic attack.

"Oh." And with that she locked the apartment and ran outside.

–

Less than three minutes later, Eric arrived to pick her up. She didn't at all doubt the fact that he had probably just broken every speed law in Miami to get here, but she didn't pass comment as she climbed into the Hummer. Taking a few deep breaths to calm herself, she gripped the door as Eric 'took off' again. "God, could you slow down. I've just ate." He sent her a sympathetic glance before returning his eyes to the road and slowing down just a little bit. He knew that she was avoiding, and he knew that her well-known mask was back up. Before the panic-attack incident, he hadn't really known about Amelia's masks, but it was obvious now. She was hurting. He knew that when she got stressed she would rub the scar she had on her leg. He knew that she would either joke, or send him painful death threats when she wanted to avoid a subject that was particularly painful for either her or Ryan. He knew her, but not as well as Ryan knew her. "Do you know what happened, cos' I had the feeling that you weren't being totally honest with me back there." Damn mind-reading crazy chick.

"He's been shot." Amelia squeezed her eyes shut quickly, knowing that tears would come eventually. She lowered her head down to her chest and focused on her breathing. Tara, although being an M.E, had advised her that in stressful situations she should focus on her breathing as she was prone to panic attacks.

"We know how bad?" She asked, opening her eyes and raising her head to look at him. He shook his head wordlessly. She sighed and closed her eyes again. _Don't die on me Wolfe, _Eric silently prayed. He had never really been nice to Ryan, for reasons that didn't make sense. Maybe it was because of what was happening now? Maybe he just didn't want to lose a friend.

Maybe he was a bastard who made Ryan feel like he wasn't a real part of the team.

**Authors note: Next chapter will be New York. Reviews are what keeps me writing all these Ryan fics. I think I'm in a CSI: Miami phase, which is weird cos' I haven't watched it in ages... Strange.**


	2. Taking a bullet

**Authors note: Thanks for the feedback! Here is the New York scene from when Kate was alive. This is set 10 years before Miami. Ryan is 26 in this one, and 36 in season 7. Oh, and be warned: This. Is. Sad. The first (and most of the rest, but mostly the first) is **

**Song: Believe by Stanid. **

**Red Angel's: Chapter two. **

**I sit alone and watch the clock **

"Ryan Wolfe! How the hell could you do that to me?" Amelia laughed as they walked out of the precinct. "You know just how much that woman pisses me off, it's like she's a... a..."

"Mini-You." Ryan supplied with a laugh.

"Hey!" She hit him on the arm for the cruelty. "You do know I..." She trailed off as a car passed them. Something caught her eye. Oh my god a- The next thing she knew she was being pushed to the ground as the sound of gun shots and occasional screams filled the air. Ryan was lying on top of her, protecting her from the bullets, and risking his own life. Officers were running out of the building, but the car had already disappeared. "Ryan, you... You can... RYAN!" Her heart wrenching scream attracted the attention of other officers. The two men that were closest helped her move Ryan onto his back. "Oh my god, oh my god." She muttered under her breath as she quickly put her hand over the fast bleeding bullet hole in her partners – best friends, brother-in-laws, chest. "Ryan, do not do this to me." Other officers were watching in awe, meanwhile some were yelling at dispatch to get the ambulance here a whole lot faster. Ryan was a deeply liked man in their department, and they were not planning on losing him any time soon. "Did you hear me?" Tears started to roll down her face, but she was too focused on her partner to care. She could hear the sirens approaching in the distance, but she wanted them to be here now. The crimson read blood was pooling around Ryan. No, please, no, she prayed. I can't lose him!

"They'll be here soon." Tom, the person who sat close by to Ryan and Amelia, reassured, assisting Amelia in the attempts to keep Ryan alive long enough for the emergency services to get here. The elderly man had been friends with Ryan and his previous partner – Hope – for years, and had warmed greatly to Amelia, especially since Kate and Ryan had gotten married. With two pairs of hands attempting to slow the bleeding, it was starting to slow down. That was the least of their problems though. Amelia and Tom could only watch in horror as Ryan raised his head, and started to cough. Blood was now dripping down his chin. Amelia looked at Tom with pleading eyes. "Amy, you go keep his head elevated, don't care what you have to do, just do it. Mike, help me here." He ordered. A younger officer came and took over Amelia's job, while Amelia went to Ryan's head. She slowly lifted it up, being gentle and trying to avoid touching the blood, and placed his head on her knee's. She slowly and methodically brushed back his hair while whispering reassurances to him. The other officer noticed that Ryan also had a bullet in his arm, and started to put pressure there.

"You're gonna be okay..." She finally let the tears flow freely from her eyes. Her sobs were silent, but the sight was enough to cause many of the officers to turn away, only to hide their own tears. "You have to be okay." She softly begged. "You can't do this Ry, you can't leave us." The raw emotion that could be heard in her voice was worrying to anyone who knew her. "You gotta survive this."

**Trying to collect my thoughts.**

**All I think about is you.**

Amelia sat in the waiting room, her gaze settled on an empty spot on the floor of the hospital. She felt numb. His blood was on her hands – mentally and physically. He had taken that bullet for her. Two bullets to be exact. He was the one with the kid, he was the one with the wife – Oh. My. God. Could she be more stupid. "Tom?" It was the first word she had uttered since they had taken Ryan away from her. "Someone contacted Kate yet?" The look that spread over his face was the answer. "I have to tell her, can you pass me your phone?" He was not used to the polite, kind, and quiet Amelia. He was used to the loud, outspoken, usually hyped up on coffee Amelia, who could never sit still for more than two minutes. The silent and still Amelia was too much of a sharp difference – and God help him, he wanted the old Amelia back. "Mine is in Ry's car." The tears in her eyes proved how hard she was taking this.

"Here," He gave her a reassuring smile before giving her the phone. "You want me to go get some coffee?" Did I just ask Amelia Carter if she wanted coffee? God help me.

"Yeah, thanks." Her voice was starting to crack from the emotion. The elderly (well, not so old, 50 isn't old yet is it?) man gave her another one of his reassuring smiles before disappearing to the coffee shop across the road. There was no way in hell he was getting this girl hospital mud.

Amelia watched him go with some sort of relief. She didn't want to have to tell her sister that her husband was currently in surgery. She had to do it though, because there was no way she was going to let one of the cold detectives that would be taking over for her and Ryan while they were on leave do it. She took a deep, calming breath, before dialling the number she knew off by heart. "Katie? It's Amelia... No, I'm not okay." She let out a small sob. "Kate, Ryan... Ryan's in surgery. He's been shot." She let out another sob when she heard the close-to-silent scream that erupted from her sisters throat. "Oh God, Kate, I'm so sorry! It's my fault, he took the bullet for me. Kate I'm so so sorry..."

**And so I cry myself to sleep **

Kate's hands were shaking as she walked with her 3-year old daughter up to the surgical floor. She found her younger sister lying across three chairs, tears stains all over her face, and sleeping in a way that was anything but peaceful. Amelia was wearing scrubs, that had probably been given to her by one of Kate's co-workers. Kate picked up her daughter and put her down on one of the chairs. Lisa, who was Kate's best friend, had said that she would come and get Sophie the second she came out of surgery, and take Sophie down to daycare. It was a slight relief to Kate, as she had already been feeling horrible. Taking a deep breath, she turned around at the sound of footsteps, expecting it to be Lisa.

No.

That. Is. Impossible. He is in surgery. Amelia saw him get shot. No! Right in front of Kate, with a worried smile on his face, stood Ryan Wolfe.

**And hope the devil I don't meet  
In the dreams that I live through **

**Authors note: No. This is not supernatural. This is medical, and logical. Just answering questions in case they come :) Please review! **


	3. Memories of a family once so happy

**Authors note: Thanks for the feedback :) Please review! Set in present day.**

**Song: Welcome to my life by Simple Plan. **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

**Red Angel: Chapter three. **

"Amelia..." Eric's tired voice tried to reason with her.

"What?" She snapped, never differing from her continues pacing.

"You should sit down." Amelia stopped pacing and turned on him like an angry predator would turn on their prey before killing it.

"You wanna know why I'm not sitting down? Because I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE!" She yelled. "This has happened before and he went into a coma. My sister was diagnosed with cancer while he was in surgery last time. We do not have good luck with hospitals, yeah I get it. But I sat down then. And. I. Am. Not. Sitting. Down. Now. If you even think of thinking of suggesting it I will inflict so much pain on you that you will probably have to spend the rest of you life only being able to eat and breathe from a tube." She sighed and calmed herself down. "I'm sorry, but the last time I was here, two of the people I loved died. I'm stressed. I get stressed. We never caught the guy who shot him last time so I bet it was him, hell, he was probably the one who killed Kate." She leaned against the wall and slid down it. "This cannot be happening again Eric. It's. Not. Fair." She suddenly smiled. "Ryan probably used to like hospitals. I mean, before Kate got ill and all that. They were clean." She suddenly burst out laughing. Eric just looked at her as if she was crazy. Then again, she probably was. Once the laughter had died down a little bit, she explained why she had suddenly started laughing like a crazy person. "We were in New York, and Ryan was doing an all nighters, finishing off his paper-work from this triple murder case we had. Me and Kate gave his apartment a makeover, wrote the words 'Super-clean, Mega-Organized Apartment' all over his walls, every single room about 50 times. He got home. Seen the mess. Handcuffed me and Kate together until Kate was paged, then hancuffed me to the radiator. Something about 'Crazy people' and him having to completely re-model the place because of us... You know, what, I keep forgetting that you've never seen Kate. And that Ryan never told you... God, here," With a small smile she reached inside her jeans pocket and pulled out a photo. It was of her, Kate and Ryan. She smiled as she passed it to Eric.

**To be hurt **

Eric looked at the photo and was, for once, astonished. Kate looked, well, amazing. She had long, blonde hair that had been braided, and hazel eyes that captured her beauty. She looked the opposite of Amelia. "We're adopted. Mum and dad couldn't have biological kids. I'm part Spanish, but me and Kate have the same biological father, different mothers. It's a miracle we ended up in the same persons care really." She admitted. "They adopted 10 kids, not including me and Kate. Johnny is a marine, so is Joe. They're in... Afghanistan or somewhere. Then there's April and Ava, they're twins and, unfortunately because I hate this particular agency, they're in the FBI. Grace and Ruby are still living with mum and dad, they're 16 and 14. Max, she's like me, part Spanish, finds it very easy to threaten people with death, pain, broken bones, ect. Some people think that, if there wasn't a giant age difference, we'd be twins. Then there is Tom, Harry, and Daniel, they're in England now, doing some trip around the world. I have a feeling that the entire 'clan' is gonna turn up now that Ry's landed himself in hospital again."

"Clan?"

"You did hear me. 12 kids, well, 11 but still! 11 living kids, plus the nieces and nephews and then there's the husbands, wives, and partners, yes, I do mean partners as in what me and Ryan are. Partners become family, look at me and Ry. There's like, 50 of us in the end. Okay, maybe a BIT less than that." She smiled. Eric could tell that she was rambling about her family to avoid the subject at hand.

**To feel lost **

Another hour passed in complete silence, it was only broken by the arriving members of their team. Natalia had left her phone on silent, therefore had not been notified about this until Calleigh was at her door. Calleigh was late because she had been at the crime scene, she had been walking out the lab when she had heard the gunshots. She had seen a black silhouette fall down, and when she reached the person, she had discovered it was Ryan. When he had been taken to the hospital, she had called Horatio, who had called Eric, who had called Amelia. Ryan usually was with Amelia, and according to H, had been in a situation like this before, which made them believe that Amelia was a likely target. Horatio was already here, but he had been avoiding Amelia. She guessed that he probably felt guilty, he had said that he had been the one who made Ryan stay behind.

"Hey," Natalia greeted the tired pair. Amelia was sitting on the floor with her back against the wall, nearly falling asleep. Her eyes opened a bit wider and she pushed herself up into a better sitting position. There were deep worry lines on her face, indicating a stressful night. Eric was sitting in one of the chairs, his hands had been on his face, but they now rested on his lap. He looked tired, worried, and stressed. "Any news?" Amelia shook her head tiredly.

"Nope." She sighed. "Last time, it was nearly six hours. It's only been, what, just over two? You three can go home if you want, get some sleep, eat. Things that are alien to me." She smiled. Another fake smile, stop trying to avoid it Carter, Eric thought with worry.

"We're staying here." Calleigh informed her, sitting down next to Eric. "A) We're not gonna be able to sleep. B) There is a cafeteria here you know. C) I got coffee." With that she passed Eric and Amelia a Starbucks cup of coffee. Natalia already had hers in her hand

"You are a lifesaver Cal." She sighed and took a sip of the coffee. The liquid warmed her up quickly, putting a small smile on her face. _I will never let you have coffee again. _She took a quick intake of breath at the voice. Ryan, coffee. "I'm gonna go call April, she's in Miami this week.." With a smile, she walked off in search of a bathroom. Yes, she was planning on calling her sister, but she needed to get away from people. She felt like she was about to break down and she wouldn't do that in front of her team members. Not after the last time. She quickened her pace as soon as she became out of sight, and entered the bathroom.

**To be left out in the dark **

She could finally breathe. Amelia let herself cry. The second the salty tears escaped her eyes, there was no turning back. Deep breaths, focus on breathing, an annoying but important voice in the back of her head nagged at her. She tried to calm herself down, and was successful enough to be able to pull out her phone and hit speed dial 6 (One was Ryan, Two was Eric, three was Natalia, four was Calleigh, Five was Horatio). "April, god, it's so good to hear your voice."

**To be kicked when you're down  
To feel like you've been pushed around**

April was sitting in a park, only a block or so away from the FBI head-quarters, in wait of her sister. She was wearing her white tank top, and a pair of skin-tight black jeans. She had her denim jacket next to her but come on – it was Miami. She groaned in annoyance as her phone started to ring. Ava, if this is you saying you're gonna be late I am gonna kill you! "Carter." She brushed some of her blonde curls out of her face as worry took over her. "Amy, you been crying?"

"April, I'm at the hospital..." April interrupted her before she had the chance to finish.

"What happened baby girl, you alight?" She used the nickname in hope that it would make Amelia open up more.

"It... Ryan..." She felt her heart break as her younger sister started to sob. "He's been shot again, sis! It... I..." More sobs. Ava was walking towards her now.

"You're at Miami Gen, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, me and Ava are gonna call Max and get her there. We'll be there in about two hours, we're gonna go use our bigger than yours credentials and see what's happened, you hear me?" A small 'Uh huh' could be heard. "Okay, bye sis, love you."

"You too." And with that Amelia hung up. Ava sent her sister a confused look. "Ryan's been shot again. We're gonna go to the crime lab and see what happened. I am going to drive because I'd like to get there this year-"

"I also intend on living." Ava muttered under her breath. April sent her sister a glare before continuing.

"You are going to call Max, get her to Miami Gen. I've heard enough from Amelia about this team to know that they still haven't warmed up to Ry yet, something about a dead guy." She shrugged and the sister's started to walk to their car. God help the guy who hurt Ryan.

**To be on the edge of breaking down.**

"Amelia?" Natalia asked cautiously as she entered the bathroom. Amelia had been gone for far too long now, and she knew that even though she had rambling tendencies, she still wouldn't be gone for over an hour. "Oh Amelia." She whispered sympathetically as she spotted the young CSI. Amelia was curled up in a foetal position on the floor, with tears streaming down her face. Her sobs filled the bathroom. Natalia, for once, had no idea what to do.

**And no one's there to save you.**

**Authors note: Reviews are greatly accepted! **


	4. Breaking of a family

**Authors note: Thanks for the reviews! I am posting a one-shot up soon about when Kate went into surgery for the second-to-last time. **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing! **

**Song: Fear (Stop Making Friends) - Pauley Perrette**

**Red Angel: Chapter four. **

_The only fear, is fear itself - Pauley Perrette_

**Are you scared of the dark?  
Are you afraid they'll break your heart?  
****Are you afraid you'll lose yourself  
Are you afraid of your own health?**

"I must have hit my head, and then I must have fallen asleep and the stress of the situation has caused me to hallucinate my husband who is currently undergoing surgery on his chest because he took a bullet for my little sister." Kate said. She could remember turning around and seeing – hallucinating – her husband then walking away from Amelia and Sophie, talking with him for a while, before it all went black. Then she opened her eyes again only seconds later and found herself in darkness, but there was a small shine of light, and she could see Ryan. "You're in surgery. This. Should. Not. Happen. I should be the one getting the chief to operate on you. Not the one hallucinating him." She paced through the darkness and felt fear take over her. She couldn't be ill. That was the only impossiblity. Illness meant death, surgery, and medicine. Illness meant feeling horrible, meant getting cut up. She was a doctor, not a patient. So she could not be ill.

Could she?

**Are you scared to lose **  
**Are you afraid to choose **  
**Are you afraid you'll win **  
**Are you scared of your own sin**

Dr Lisa Barlow walked down the surgical floor corridor in search for her best friend, Kate. After receiving the news that Ryan was in surgery, Kate had immediately called her and asked that once she was out of Ryan's surgery (it was a given that she would get into it somehow, even if it was just observing) would she be able to mind Sophie.

The answer had obviously been yes. Lisa, however, did not come bearing good news. Due to blood loss, oxygen deprivation, and a head wound from falling, Ryan had slipped into a coma. Also, the bullet was extremely close to his heart – and spine. The fact that Ryan could come out of this being paralysed was a daunting one, but a realistic one. Lost in her thoughts, Lisa came very close to tripping over the body laid sprawled out on the hospital floor but she managed to snap out of it in time to notice it. "Oh, God, just what- Kate? Katie, wake up!" Dropping to her knee's, she realised that the body was Katie's. Judging by the small patch of blood in her hair, Lisa came to the conclusion that Kate had some sort of head injury. Trying to put herself in the mind frame of 'Just another patient, not my best friend', she paged her boss.

**Are you scared to forgive **  
**Are you afraid to live **  
**Are you afraid to die **  
**Do you think it's all a lie**

"What do you mean?" A tired Amelia asked the doctor.

"Amy, Kate passed out. No one hit her on the head. No one tried to kill her. We've taken her for a brain CT and..." Lisa sighed.

"And what?" The look in Lisa's eyes answered her question. "No, she isn't... She can't be.."

"She has several brain tumours, we believe that the cancer could have spread throughout her body. Has she been feeling ill lately?" Amelia nodded. "Sleeping more?" Another nod. "Headache's?"

"How bad?"

"Stage four." Amelia let out a gasp.

"No. She can't be dying. She has a kid, Ryan... Ryan is in a coma for gods sake. She can't be dying too." Amelia whispered to herself repeatedly.

**To live, when you think you're dying.  
To laugh, when you feel like crying  
To stand, when you think you're gonna fall  
It's just fear after all.  
It's only fear after all.**

Amelia gasped at the sight on the bed. Kate was already awake and had asked her to go check on Ryan, which is where she was. But what she was seeing scared her. She wasn't a person having – before she was adopted – came from a rough neighbourhood, and an abusive household. She had been kidnapped. She had been hurt, mentally and physically. She did not consider herself to be scared – or broken – easily. But today had broken her more than anything. Today she had seen her partner take a bullet for her. Today she had broken down. Today she had found out her sister was dying. Today her partner – her best friend, brother-in-law, person that married her sister – fell into a coma because of her. Today, she was scared. Scared by the fact that her family was hanging by a thread. "Ryan..." He looked so small in that bed, surrounded by an assortment of machines and monitors. He had a tube in his throat, but according to Lisa that was only temporary. He had bandages wrapped tightly around his torso. Although it was small, she could see a speck of blood where he had been shot. His arm was in a sling, and is good arm was covered n multiple IV lines, supplying him with blood, fluids, and an assortment of painkillers and antibiotics. "I'm so sorry."

**To mend****, when you're think you're breaking.**  
**To strength, w****hen you know you're shaking.**  
**To pray, ****when your back's against the wall.**  
**It's only fear after all**

**Authors note: Reviews are greatly appriated! I would love to have more than one? :D **


	5. Assulted by a memory

**Authors note: I had this finished yesterday but I was at my nains – which means no internet. Then my charger decided that it would snap (I have to put the charger in between two pins that stick out my leg, that's how dedicated I am, I will use a surgically embedded metal bar as a charger holder just so I can update xD), then my laptop decided it would get a virus on it. I don't think this week likes me... Anyway, please review! **

**Song: Pieces by Red.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing other than the Carter clan, Tom, and evil Logan Wells! Just to be safe – I do not own CSI: Miami! I do not own Pieces by Red. **

**Red Angel: Chapter five. **

_**I'm here again. A thousand miles away from you.**_

She was there again. It seemed like she had seen herself. This was exactly how Kate was, when the doctors started to say that they should say their goodbyes to Ryan. Kate had just headed straight to the bathroom, thrown up (she wasn't sure if that was because of the chemo or the fact that Ryan was dying right in front of them) and stayed on the bathroom floor for the rest of the day. Now, she was the on on the floor, and she had no intentions of leaving it any time soon. Down here, she felt numb, as if none of this was happening, as if nothing could reach her.

Then she realised – she had finally broke.

_**A broken mess. **_

"She's had a complete breakdown." Natalia informed them. The group of three were standing outside of the bathroom, looks of worry on their faces. "I've never seen her like this, she's just on the floor. She stopped crying about two minutes ago, but.." She shook her head. Horatio had asked them to keep an eye on her while had waited for news on Ryan.

"I'm worried about her." Calleigh added, shaking her head at the door in worry. She hadn't been in there yet, but from what Natalia had said she knew it was bad. "Someone should be in there with her." She commented. "I'll try." And with that Calleigh went into the bathroom.

"Eric, stay here, make sure no one goes in there. Say whatever you have to, just don't let them in. I'm gonna get us all some more coffee, I have a feeling that this night is only gonna get longer."

–

Max ran along the corridors, searching for a familiar face. Unfortunately, her sister was no where to be found. She was running along a corridor when the hot guy stopped her. "Excuse me, are you Max Carter?"

_**Just scattered pieces of who I am.**_

Calleigh walked around the wall and found Amelia. She was lying with her back against the sinks. "Amy, come on, you have to get up." No response, not even any eye contact. This was not going good. Calleigh sighed, before joining Amelia on the floor. –

Amelia finally made eye contact with her friend, and Calleigh felt her heart break a little. There was so much pain, and hurt, in her gaze. "I'm sorry Amy." Amelia only blinked in response. "You don't deserve this."

"I do." Amelia whispered. "It was my fault the first time, and somehow it'll be my fault this time." Tears built up in her eyes. "I can't do this any more Calleigh." She choked out.

"It isn't – wasn't your fault – and you have to."

"It was, I don't and I'm not, and if you think you're gonna convince me too then you may as well leave now." Amelia's voice had suddenly turned harsh and she had broken eye contact with Calleigh.

"Amy..." A sigh escaped Calleigh's lips as she pushed herself up and left the bathroom.

–

Max was listening to the hot guy – now identified as Eric Delko, and judging by the way he smiled at the blonde who came out of the bathroom, was taken – and glanced at the blonde. "Calleigh, this is Amelia's sister, Max Carter."

Max nodded at Calleigh. "How's she doing?"

"Bad, she's been on the floor for the past hour and a half now. No way of getting her up. She thinks that it's her fault, the first and the second. She's crying, then she stopped, then she started again." Calleigh informed her.

"She's doing a Kate then?" Calleigh and Eric both raised the eyebrows. "Oh, God, forgot you're the new team. When the doc's told us that Ry was probably not gonna make it, Kate done this. When the doc's told us Amelia was probably gonna be emotionally damaged for the rest of her life and would never be the same, Kate done this. Both, well, the first one they were completely wrong, second... kinda wrong. She's only like 50 percent of the crazy chic I grew up with and I'm gonna stop talking now because she's obviously not broken down in front of you before – count yourselves lucky – and you don't know her past and I'm gonna go in there now before I dig a deeper hole for myself."

**I tried so hard.**

"You told me you were gonna prove everyone wrong and not be the broken and damaged little victim. You promised me that. You are not a promise breaker, Amelia Haley Carter!" Amelia opened her eyes and found herself face to face with her younger sister.

"I can't help it if I'm still a bit broken." Amelia replied in the most emotionless voice Max had ever heard, for it to be coming from her sister sent chills down her spine.

"You're not broken. You promised me you wouldn't be."

"Yeah, and Ry promised he'd never get shot again. People break promises sis, you need a reality check." Max noticed that her sister's eyes were empty of any sort of emotion now.

"Yeah, but he couldn't control that. You can control yourself. You don't need to be broken."

"I am." And with that, Amelia closed her eyes. Max let out a sigh before pushing herself up and leaving the room.

**Thought I could do this on my own.**

Eric looked up as Max walked out. The young woman shook her head before sliding down the nearest wall. "She's never been this bad before." She was suddenly handed a coffee. "Erm, thanks?" She sent Eric a small smile.

"We were gonna use it to lure her out, but with you and Cal both trying and failing I had an feeling that coffee wouldn't do it. I take it you like it really, crazy chic strong?" Max smiled and nodded. She took a sip of the coffee and smiled.

"Lifesaver." She closed her eyes. "Have you tried yet? You know, to get her up?" Eric shook her head.

"We're not exactly the best of friends." Max raised her eyebrows.

"Let me guess, you're threatened with death or painful experiences every day, but she only says trust me, it's painful, on the broken bones one. She told you she was adopted – which I know because you recognised me. She showed you the picture of her, Ryan and Kate before Ry and Kate got married. She rants at you. You know her masks. You know how she is like superwoman when it comes to either hiding things or avoiding things. She's told you the handcuff story." Eric nodded. "Then you're her friend. It's her way of reaching out, acting like a super freak." Eric glanced towards the bathroom. "She's been broken. More than Ryan – well, about the same as Ry, explains why they're such good friends – more than Kate, more than any of us. Probably more than you, or you're team. It is amazing that she is still sane." She took another sip of coffee and started to stare at the floor. "When you start investigating the case you'll find out about this anyway. Amelia... The reason she is so fragile, so broken, so – well, the reason she is acting like this now – she... She was kidnapped by a guy called Logan Wells. We also believe that he is the one who shot Ryan, killed Kate and Sophie, and he is probably the one who done this now." She closed her eyes momentarily.

"Ryan and Amelia put away his father for triple murder. He went crazy, and he was already crazy in the beginning. Wells had been kidnapping women for about 20 years, when he took Amy he was in his forties. When Amelia didn't break, he fixed on her. His psychosis revolved around Amelia. He wanted Amelia, and Ryan was in the way. So he tried to take Ryan out of the picture, then – when that didn't work, and because Amelia had near enough moved in with Ryan and Kate when the cancer came along, he killed Kate and Sophie. This is the part Ryan doesn't know about. After Ryan left, only about a month after the crash, Amelia lost all contact for three weeks, although she had taken the three weeks off to deal with Kate dying, we were still worried. She didn't answer her phone, April managed to get the boys back from England, and Johnny and Joe were on emergency leave for that month, and we raided her apartment and she was just there... She just looked so broken. There was blood all over the apartment. It..." A tear escaped her eye and was rolling down her cheek. "If we ever catch this guy, I would love to have ten minutes in a locked room with him, but then I'd deprive Ryan of the chance to kill him so I can't."

**I've lost so much along the way.**

Eric didn't ask who Sophie was, his mind was still reeling from the rest. "If you wanna find out more about this physco, another creep made a book about him. Included Amelia's name, where she lived and just about half of what the bastard done to her." She shook her head. "I never understand guys like that."

"I'll try." Eric said, his voice barely above a whisper as he entered the _woman's_ bathroom. In a few weeks, Amelia and Ryan would be making fun of him for this, but it was worth it. He seen her on the floor, staring into space. She was lying on her good leg, one arm tucked under her head, the other stretched out in front of her. "Amelia."

**Then I see your face. **

"Eric." She whispered back, her eyes never leaving the spot on the floor, and her voice so quiet that he had to strain to hear her.

"Get up." He ordered.

"What?" She questioned, looking up at him from the floor. He was completely serious.

"Get up. You're no good to Ryan like this, you're not helping yourself, Ryan, me, crazy chic sister out there who is drinking coffee, Calleigh, Nat, anyone. You've known Ryan the longest, which gives you less of a right to breakdown because you know that he is gonna survive this. I'm not his best friend, I barely even make friend, I'll admit that. But you need to pull yourself together because you two are inseparable and he is gonna need you and you need him and you can't be lying on a bathroom floor when he needs you the most." Amelia blinked, taking in his logic. Then, she slowly brought her hands to the floor and pushed herself up. Her arms shook dangerously, and Eric quickly caught her before she hit the floor. He noticed that she was wearing a short-sleaved top, and for the first time he noticed the faint pink scars that lined her arms. "Amy..." He shook his head. She did not deserve that.

"I wear long sleeves for a reason Delko. I didn't have time to change... Can you ask Max to get me a-" She was handed a jacket. "Thanks." She offered him a small smile as he helped her up, careful of the scars.

"You're my friend, it's what friends do."

"Uh huh, and you tell anyone what you just saw and I'll break your bones." She pulled the jacket on, even if it was too big it still hid the scars.

"I know you will Amy." And with that, they left the bathroom.

–

She found herself being met by the eyes of a certain red-head. She felt like her stomach had dropped and her heart had stopped beating. Judging by the looks on Calleigh, Natalia and Max's faces they already knew what he was about to say to Amelia and Eric – and it wasn't good. "How bad?" No one other than the red-head was making eye contact with either her or Eric. Eric was standing protectively behind her, his hands on her arms to avoid another bathroom incident. She could see April and Ava had arrived, and where currently comforting each other on the bed (why there was a empty bed in the middle of a corridor she would never know).

"It's the same as last time," Max answered for Horatio.

"He's in a coma," Horatio supplied for Eric – who hadn't been there last time. Amelia just nodded.

–

"Joe?" It had been an hour since they had found out about Ryan's current status. It had been around about 10 when Ryan had been shot, and it was now 7 O'clock in the morning. Amelia had been keeping herself awake thanks to the wonder that was coffee. She had been on her way to get more coffee, when she had spotted a certain marine in the lobby. He looked very lost. As soon as she was sure that she was not hallucinating (that would be her luck) she ran over to him. He hadn't heard her before, and was quite surprised when he was tackled into a hug. Arms were wrapped around his chest. He recognised those tiny hands. Joe was about 5ft 10'', he had his black hair in a marine cut, and was wearing his uniform. He moved her hands apart and turned around. "What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you meant to be fighting the bad guys for queen- sorry, is it president over here? God, I'll just say for queen and country." She shook her head.

"Thanks for that by the way, I've been blown up, shot at," He missed the wince. "And god knows what else, but one hug from my little sister and I think you broke my ribs." He rubbed his chest in fake hurt. "And I'm on leave, 6 months, waiting for Johnny now. I was just leaving, a buddy of mine... He pushed me outta the way of a bullet," She squeezed his hand as he trailed off.

"I come bearing more bad news, I'm afraid." She sighed. "Ryan... He was shot again and they... They think it might be Logan Wells." He saw the flash of fear on her face as the memories washed over her. Quickly, he pulled her into a tight hug. He leaned his head down and whispered into her ear, not letting her leave the safety of his arms.

"How bad?" She buried her head in his chest.

"Comatose bad. I weren't there this time." She whispered back.

**I know I'm finally yours.**

"What are we gonna do Eric?" Calleigh asked her boyfriend, leaning onto him and resting her head on his chest. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally.

"I don't know. But Cal, she's damaged, really damaged. I just... I had no idea that she actually knew how it..." He shook his head.

"You think we're all gonna make it through this? All of us, including Amy and Ryan?"

"We kind of have to, don't we? I'd like to keep my bones were they are." He chuckled and kissed the top of her head before wrapping his arm around her waist. "I love you, you know that? I don't want to lose you. Look at Ryan and his wife. They had everything, and then she died. I don't want that to happen. I want you to promise me you'll do your best not to die, because I love you."

She looked up at him now, leaving her chin on his chest and her arms around his chest. "I love you too Eric. I never want to lose you. I don't plan on getting ill or getting into a crash. I plan on living with you for the rest of my life, and because of that, I promise that I'll try my best to never die. You have to promise too though." She answered with a smile.

"I promise."

**I find everything, I thought I lost before.**

Tightly gripping Eric's jacket and keeping it tightly placed around her shoulder's, she opened her eyes and let herself look at Ryan through the glass wall. The nurse had said that she could go inside if she wanted, but she wasn't sure if she was ready. Her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying, as was her face covered in tear stains. It was obvious to anyone that she ha recently been in a distressing, or tragic, situation. Let's see, finally letting him break you, breaking down in the bathroom, snapping at Calleigh, being a general idiot, being kind of nice to Eric, letting Eric see a few of your scars, yep, definitely one of you bad days Amelia, she thought to herself as she looked at the small figure of her best friend lying in a hospital bed. He was near enough identical to the first time, except he looked older, and he was on an oxygen mask, not a ventilator. Slightly in shock by the sight, she let her arms drop limply to her sides. Her gaze never left Ryan. She heard footsteps, but assumed that they were one of the nurses or doctors that hurried about this particular ward 24/7. It was only when a strong, and big, hand wrapped around hers that she looked up. She had flinched slightly at the sudden strength and warmth it brought her. Eric gave her a slight smile, but he was obviously shaken by the sight of his kind-of-friend lying vulnerably in the bed, surrounded by an array of confusing machines.

"He's gonna be okay, you know." She assured him. "He's a fighter. He, he survives what life throws at him. That's what Ryan does, it's what I do too. You adapt to what life hits you with. No matter what it is, a shooting, kidnapping, old guy breathing down your neck 24/7, cancer, death, you survive it and come out the other end. I think it's a Carter/Wolfe trait." Eric nodded and tightened his grip on her hand.

**You call my name.**

_Walking out of the lab, Calleigh felt unease wash through her. Something was wrong but she had no idea what it was... Shaking her head at her stupid worry, she started to root through her bag in search for her keys. Suddenly, a passing car's window opened and a gun appeared. Taking cover behind a parked car, Calleigh started to return shots once she had gotten her gun out. The car's license plate was hard to make out, but she knew the make and colour which was god enough for her. After the car had driven away with more than a few dents in it, she realised that someone had been shot. A man was lying on the floor with a blood pool slowly forming around him. There was something startlingly familiar about the suit he was wearing, Calleigh thought as she ran closer to the man. When she saw the man's face she felt like her heart had skipped at least more than one beat. "Ryan!" She called out before dropping to her knee's beside him. Her hands had a slight shake to them as she pressed them to what seemed like the most life-threatening injury. There were two visible shots to the chest, and one to the stomach. She faintly heard people running, calling dispatch, and trying to secure the scene. Another person dropped down opposite her. Horatio started to put pressure on the other chest wound, but they knew that it was bad. Ryan's eyes were glazed over and they were darting around wildly. His mind had probably taken him somewhere else. The sound of sirens filled the air and Calleigh let herself breathe in relief. _

"Calleigh?" She groaned and opened her eyes. Reliving last night had been a terrifying experience. "Cal, wake up."

"Eric?" She turned onto her back and smiled at the Cuban. "Any change?" He shook his head in response. "Listen, I'm gonna go take Amelia back to her apartment, okay, she needs clothes and food, you coming too?" Another smile, and a nod

**I come to you in pieces.**

**So you can make, me whole.**

"Okay, I'm gonna go get a shower. Feel free to do whatever. Here are Ryan's keys if you need food... Don't give me that look Delko, you've met me before, right? Do I strike you as the type of person to go shopping for food? The most I have is probably decade old cereal. Ryan, however, shops for me because I eat at his anyway." She shrugged before disappearing into the bathroom. She took of her top and examined her appearance in the mirror. The beginning of dark circles forming her eyes – check. Red-rimmed eyes – check. Ugly scars on her back – check. A small sigh escaped her throat as she removed her pants. "More scars..." She whispered and closed her eyes.

He was walking towards her. Each step made her whimper a bit more as it echoed through the large basement. More sobs escaped her throat as he stepped closer. "Please..." She begged. He just smiled that freaking sadistic smile. Amelia continued to cry. She wasn't sure how long she'd been her, but it felt like an eternity. Suddenly, Tay and Rachel disappeared from view and the room started to become smaller. He didn't notice it, and he just kept walking towards her. She couldn't pull away.

"No!" Her scream echoed through the bathroom. Sobs quickly followed. Someone had wrapped their arms around her, and she realised that she was on the floor. "No, no, no, no." Eric pulled her closer into his chest, doing his best to ignore the scars. Calleigh was standing in the door and texting one of Amelia's sisters. "Please, keep him away from me." Calleigh bit her lip to keep back tears. She hated seeing her friend break down like this, as it was literally heartbreaking.

**I've come undone.**

**Authors note: Kind of, very, hard to write. Also, my longest chapter in this story! Please review! Can we make it to 8 reviews?**


	6. A guilty conscience

**Authors note: Cos' I was bored and without Internet for a long time, I decided to write. Then the Internet came back and I was happy again. I'd like to get to 9 reviews by tomorrow when my laptop is back (I'm getting the charger replaced and am currently using a computer that is about a decade old, it's the IMac, the very, very first one.). So reviews woiuld be seriously amazing right now! This chapter is a flashback to before shooting one. **

**Song; World so cold by Three days grace. **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing. **

**Red Angel: Chapter six**

**I never thought I'd feel like this.**

**Guilty and I'm broken up inside.**

"Ryan, oh God, are you okay?" A worried Kate ran over to her boyfriend who was currently being treated by a paramedic. He just gave her a look before shooing away the medic and shaking his head. Kate frowned, not only was she worried about her husband, her sister seemed to be nowhere in sight. For Ryan to be injured (even if it was a minor concussion) and Amelia not be hovering/ hiding her worry by chewing him out was impossibility.

"He's got her Kate." She heard the worry and guilt in his voice.

"Who's got who Ryan?" She suddenly felt nervous. No Amelia in sight, Ryan injured, on a case. "Ryan, where's Amelia?" He looked at the floor.

"Logan Wells has her." Kate went just about as pale as Ryan. She started to shake her head adamantly, refusing to believe Ryan's words. There was no way he had her. Amelia, her little sister, the strong one, the crazy one.

"The Leona Winters case?" Her breath caught in her throat. She had been on Leona Winters case, and it was the most horrifying one she had seen in years. According to Ryan, Leona had been missing for five years. Five years of that... And that bastard had his hands on Amelia! "No way, no, Ryan, he can't do that to her. Tell me this is a joke, please tell me you gave her coffee and then she forced you to lie to me, cos I wouldn't blame you for lying, that girl can be scary at the best of times." She said hopefully. Ryan just looked at her. The pain in his eyes was not the pain from the head injury; it was the pain of knowing what this guy could do to his best friend.

He shakily stood up and pulled her into a hug. "I'm so sorry Kate." He whispered. She tightened her grip around his neck and buried her rested her head on his shoulder. "It's my fault, I should've seen him."

"Ryan." She pulled away quickly, her eyes meeting his. "I have enough to worry about without you going all guilty on me. It was not your fault do you understand that? This was the guy who took her's fault. I don't care what happened, how it happened, who or what was there, because I know that you would never willingly let anything happen to Amy, you would die before letting that happen." Kate stressed. Ryan gave her a weak nod before returning his gaze to the floor.

"I'm gonna get him, Kate, before he even lays a hand on her. You know that right?" Kate nodded back strongly. Her faith in Ryan was scaring her a little. The pair had only been dating for a little over a month, but she would trust him with her life already. Maybe it was because he had been Amelia's partner for a year, and they had been friends for a while, then friends with benefits, then they decided to make it official. Amelia had gone crazy when she found out. Kate suddenly closed her eyes, fighting the tears that came with the thought of her sister and what she knew would happen to her.

Hold out for me Amy, and keep the smart ass on the low. Please, be careful.

**I always thought**

**I'd make it**

"Mum... Mum, something's happened. No, no, I'm okay, but I think you should come down here, with the family if you want." Fighting tears, Kate wondered how she should tell her mother something like this. "It's Amelia, mum, she... she's been kidnapped." Kate suddenly erupted into sobs. Ryan took the phone off her and pulled her into a one-armed hug. Kate buried her head in his chest while Ryan talked to her mother. God, she wasn't ready to do this. No one was. No one could be prepared to find out that her sister had been kidnapped by a serial killer, kidnapper, torturer, rapist, assaulter, the list goes on and on.

**But never knew I'd**

**Let it get so bad**

"How you holding up son?" Tom on the desk next to Amelia's. His eyes rested on the chair where Amelia should be sitting and he sighed sadly. The Logan Wells case was one of the most high profile cases in America. It was certainly the most high profile one that New York had ever had, and unfortunately, one of their own had fallen victim to it. Tom sent Ryan, the man he thought of as a son, a worried look. It would be obvious to someone who didn't even know the man that Ryan was blaming himself for this.

"My best friends been kidnapped by the most sadistic bastard out there, my girlfriend is probably gonna have a breakdown within the next 24 hours, and I've got a major headache, but other than that, I'm fine." Ryan snapped, looking up from the scattered paperwork on his desk for a few seconds before returning his eyes to the case file of Leona Winters. Realising what he had just done, Ryan ran his hands over his face before turning to look at his friend/father-figure. "Sorry, it's just... This guy, he put Winters into a coma, he's kidnapped over twenty women and no one ever noticed, and now he has Amy." Ryan shook his head worriedly.

"She'll be okay," Tom comforted the worried Ryan who was now leaning back in his chair, his hands on his face and obviously trying – and failing miserably – to hide his worry. "Amy is a survivor, anyway, I think that the guy will hand deliver himself to us to escape her." Tom chuckled. They both knew it wasn't true. They both knew that Amelia was probably terrified right now. They both knew what he would do to her, but just knowing that there was a hope that she would be back eventually made them believe in that little thing called hope again.

**I feel numb**

**I can't come to life**

**I feel like**

**I'm frozen in time**

A groan escaped her throat as she opened her eyes. She struggled to adjust them to the lack of light in the room she was in. Her head was banging, god, what the hell happened to me? She tried to remember what she had been doing before the black-space. Ryan, laughing, coffee, turning around, seeing Logan Wells and then seeing a gun pointed at Ryan – Oh shit. She looked around the room and saw two other people. It was only then that she noticed that she – like the other women – was on a bed. Her hand flew to her hip and she groaned again, Wells had taken her gun. Fear started to build up in her as she remembered what had happened to Leona Winters.

Five years...

She closed her eyes and bit back tears. Please find me Ryan, please find me before he destroys me...

**Authors note: Anyone else hate this Logan Wells guy?**


	7. We can pretend nothings changed

**Authors note: My laptop is back. Me is a happy person who's love in Kelly Clarkson and The Fray has been re-ignited. Me has has a lot of chocolate and is writing strange on her A/N... Thank you for the reviews! **

**Song: Save you by Kelly Clarkson! **

**Disclaimer: Own nothing! **

**Red Angel: Chapter seven.**

She walked into the lab on her own again, trying to remember the last time that she had Ryan by her side. She knew the exact amount of time it had been since Ryan had walked her into the lab. 24 days. 24 days since the shooting, 23 days since her breakdown, 18 days since she had came back to work, 5 days since her hope for Ryan had started to falter. A small sigh escaped her lips. The doctors were giving up hope now, and so was she.

******I can tell,  
I can tell,**

"Hey Amy, any news?" It was their morning routine. How are you – because she had a complete breakdown. Any news – because they already knew that their wasn't but they were holding onto false hope. Amelia shook her head at Eric and sat down.

"We have a case?" Eric shook his head, reading – or trying to read – the case file in his hands. "Miami, having no murders – what is happening to the world?" She joked with a small smile. Eric gave her a small chuckle – cos' guys don't giggle, do they?

"Maybe the bad guys took a holiday?" He smiled and looked at her. She had raised her eyebrows. "Or they just got really good at hiding their tracks." She laughed at that.

"Yeah, they've all headed off to somewhere cold, like... like England, Iceland, Norway, somewhere cold... Oh, yeah, Alaska!" She smiled. Eric tried to hide the worry he felt as he looked at her. It was obvious she was putting up her masks, her defences and her walls again, and it was a bad thing. She was hurting and everyone – well, him, Calleigh, and Horatio – knew it. He just wished Ryan would wake up. It was nearing a month now, and Amelia just wasn't the same. She was hiding things – as always – and they needed Ryan there to explain to them why, or what it was she was hiding.

**How much you hate this. **

"Hey," She greeted, sitting herself down in the chair by his bed and opening the chocolate bar she had bought. "You really needed to catch up on your sleep, huh?" She smiled, crossing her leg over and taking a bite out of the chocolate bar. The nurses recognised her now – hell, she actually was friends, as in going out and drinking yourselves crazy friends with one of them. Shaking her head, she put the remainder of her chocolate bar into the bin, suddenly losing her appetite. "It's gonna be a month soon. You'd think you'd be ready to wake up by now." She sighed and leaned back in the chair.

Come on Ryan, I don't want to say goodbye.

"So, we had a boring day at work today. Should be grateful for it I guess. The guy killed this random guy because he parked in his path. Talk about crazy, right?" She laughed quietly to herself. "You gotta wake up soon, cos' my lunch break is over now and I gotta go before Eric or Horatio puts me on dumpster duty." She complained. A small sigh escaped her throat as she got up and approached the bed. "Love you Ryan." She whispered into his ear before giving his hand a tight squeeze. Please squeeze back, she prayed.

**Deep down inside,**

"She's not eating, and don't say she is, I know she isn't. She is wearing baggy tops but I can still see that she has lost tons of weight and I'm worried about her Eric so you need to invite her to ours," Even though Calleigh hadn't moved out of her apartment, she near enough lived at Eric's now and she knew that they would be officially moving in together soon. "To have some real food. You can go crazy with it. I don't care what you make, just something real, and do not let her get out of it."

Eric looked up from the piece of evidence he was examining for the cold case he was in the middle of. "Sure, but you know she'll want to spend the night with Ryan don't you?" Calleigh nodded but she gave him that look that he just couldn't refuse. "Fine, I'll try. But I'm cooking." Caleigh just smiled.

**You know it's killing me. **

She entered her apartment nervously, feeling her heart beating too fast. In the days after breakdown 2 in the shower, she had stayed at her sisters (April and Ava's), then she had stayed at Eric's (and she had found out that Calleigh had unofficially moved in), and then she had spent every night at the hospital. This was the first night she had been back to her apartment.

For some reason, she had been half-expecting to find Ryan in there, waiting for her and declaring that this was all some joke, but deep down she knew that Ryan could never do that to her.

Shaking her head at her pathetic hopes, she made her way into the kitchen to see if there was anything that she would like, although she already knew what the answer was.

Amelia jumped as she heard the shrill ring of her phone. A look of worry passed over her face; when you start jumping at the sound of a phone ringing you know that you should go see a psychiatrist. Yeah, right, already heard the 'get some help, you'll feel better' speech of my entire family, plus the co-worker-couple (Eric and Calleigh).

Realising that she had been standing there for over three rings, she quickly answered the phone. "Carter." She sat down as she listened to Eric's request. "Well... No I am not at the hospital... Yes, I have spent most of my time there..." She looked at the floor. "I'm not feeling... You've already cooked?" Damn you Eric. I hate you so much right now. I am going to break your bones. "Sure, I'll come round, yeah, I'm on my way, bye... Yeah, yeah, I'll be careful... Eric, you are talking to the most road safe girl in Miami. Bye." And with that she hung up.

**I can call, wish you well,  
And try to change this but nothing I can say would change anything.**

You sit in your car, the tinted windows hiding your face, and watch as she walks into the hot-but-not-as-hot-as-Ryan-guy's house. You realise that there has to be a way to stop her going through this much pain, because deep down you know that she doesn't deserve this. You decide that there is something you can do, even if it doesn't work it would get rid of some of the guilt that weighs heavily on you shoulders. When you think of it, this is all your fault, because if you were still there, he wouldn't have left and Logan would have been caught and he wouldn't be in a coma. You feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. You decide that it is time to make a trip to the hospital.

**Where were my senses?  
I left them all behind.  
Why did I turn away? **

"Ryan," No way. He tried to open his eyes more than ever now. "I know, it's been a while." Her soft chuckle whispered through the air. "I need you to wake up for me Ryan. Amelia broke down, she broke down in front of Eric and Calleigh and they don't know what happened so they don't know how to take care of her. You need to wake up for her Ryan, she can't function. She's overworking herself, she barely eats, she's going to continue like this until she lands herself in hospital, or worse. So you need to wake up and tell her that she's gonna be okay and make her promise not be the victim again. You wake up, and... I love you."

**I wish I could save you.  
I wish I could say to you,  
I'm not going nowhere.  
I wish I could say to you,  
It's gonna be alright. **

**Authors note: Okay, I know that there is more than one person reading this (considering I got two reiews not from that person!) so please review people! I know you're out there! **


	8. Falling apart

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I never thought I'd say this but after re-reading this chapter I wanted to kill my own OC (Logan Wells...) Unfortunately, I couldn't but I still wanted to. I would have had this up sooner but while I was writing it my little brother was taken to hospital because of a head injury. Being stuck at home because I'm recovering from surgery myself and being the worlds biggest worrier made my writing muse go take a day long vacation. Thankfully, he is okay now and I can write. **

**Warning: Suicidal thoughts. This is a very dark chapter. Feel free to skip it if you aren't comfortable with this type of stuff, because it is only a flashback to the past and nothing to do **

**with the Ryan-coma story-line. The idea for the conditions was taken off Criminal Minds.**

**Song: First song is Coming of age by Millow, the second song is You Found me by The Fray.**

**Disclaimer: Own nothing! **

**Red Angel: Chapter eight.**

_One shot of happy, two shots of sad  
We know we might run out of time  
But when it comes to living, dying is the easy part  
Not exactly what you had in mind _

Amelia brought her knee's up to her blood soaked stomach in an attempt to warm herself. The T-Shirt wasn't doing her much good. Shivers ran through her, which made her know that she probably had some sort of an infection because her temperature was constantly fluctuating. She was unsure how long she had been there, but she knew that her body couldn't stand another week. She was getting weaker by the second, and merely standing up was an exhausting task.

She heard banging upstairs and wanted to hide. She didn't want him to hurt her again but she knew that he would and that there was nothing she could do about it because she belonged to him now.

She had started to give up hope of Ryan finding her after what she thought was the first week. She had completely given up hope of anyone finding her after he killed Rachel and Tay. Why hadn't he killed her? She would die if it meant he couldn't hurt her any more.

_I want to die._

Slowly, her eyes widened at her silent confession. She wanted to die.

**Lost and insecure.**

She jumped slightly and gripped the pillow as she heard the familiar sound of gunshots. Did he have more women? Although she hated being alone, and that there was no one to distract him from her, she would never want him to hurt more people. She felt confused when she heard men – as in multiple men – shouting. She closed her eyes in fear.

The top that she was wearing was a skin-tight one that had once been white – it was now stained with red – and in her position in showed a part of her back. She didn't care any more.

**You found me, you found me.**

**Lying on the floor.**

The door opened with a bang and she quietly screamed as she flinched. _Please, not again, please._ She pulled her knee's further up to her chest in the vain hope that it would protect her.

She flinched as a hand was placed on her shoulder. "Please, don't..." She whispered.

"Amy," Her heart leapt to her throat at the voice. "Amy, it's Ryan, I'm not going to hurt you." She felt herself being slowly and carefully lifted off the ground. She swallowed down a sob as she wondered what was happening. Had he injected her with something that made her hallucinate Ryan? No, she thought, I would have seen him, not just heard him...

Pushing the fear she felt beside, she slowly opened her eyes and looked around. Police officers were surrounding her, hiding the bodies of her friends underneath the plastic white sheets that she had seen so often.

**Surrounded, surrounded.**

She unwrapped her hands from around her chest and put them around Ryan's neck. As soon as she felt the warmness of his breath on her arm she knew she had been found. Amelia gasped as cold air hit her face, and she realised that Ryan had taken her outside. She heard people talking loudly, speaking of dead bodies, securing the scene and of a search radius. She moved her head away from Ryan's shoulder and looked at he sky, she had almost forgotten what it looked like. "Ryan..." She rasped out. He sat down in the boot of a car and looked at her. She could tell that he was horrified, as she would be if she was looking at someone in her state. "Ryan, please, make him stop hurting me." Amelia sobbed.

Ryan felt his heart break. His friend had been tortured and now she was begging him to make it stop. He pulled her delicate body as close to him as possible while she sobbed, whispering reassurances in her ears. "I will never let him hurt you again."

**Why'd you have to wait?  
Where were you? Where were you? **

"How is she?" Ryan asked as he reached his girlfriend. She was obviously shaken after seeing her sister for the first time in over a month, and in that condition – it would shake someone who didn't even know her.

"They've taken her into surgery. He had cut into her. The bleeding had clotted but they need to make sure everything's okay..." She shook her head. "She'll be okay," She smiled. "She's survived this far."

**Just a little late.**

"She's being a stubborn little..."

"Tay!"

"What? It's not like I actually called her it!"

"You thought of it. God, Tay, I know we're here and all but that doesn't give us the right to de... under... what is it?"

"Not respect?"

"Yeah, not respect the small kids. Especially the girl who just had surgery!"

"She is in surgery, and it is like the most easy surgery ever. I could do it in my sleep!"

"Stop being such a-"

"Could you two shut up." Amelia groaned as she opened her eyes. White light blinded her momentarily, which made her worry that she was dead. "Where... Am I..." She started to ask them.

"No you are not dead..." Taylor answered. Taylor had been one of Kate's best friends from the hospital, until she had been kidnapped about six months before Amelia had been.

Rachel was the one other person who had been killed in front of her, and she was pretty... dumb. "Yet." Taylor shot her a look. "What? It's what they always do in the cliché situations." Taylor shook her head and returned to Amelia.

"You survived, so far. Surgery – easy. We need you to wake up after the surgery."

"Huh? Tay... I can't go back there... He'll hurt me again." Amelia argued.

"You have a choice." Rachel added before Taylor could convince her otherwise.

Taylor glared at her annoying, stupid, best friend. "Ignore the barbie. Yes, you do have a choice but you have to go back. Officer Wolfe – he is so hot by the way – he's been tearing himself apart for the last month. Yes, I have managed to watch him, and god, you weren't kidding about that clan thing were you."

"No, but they've lost kids before. It's not like they won't move on."

"Dear god." Taylor shook her head. "They lost kids – you never get over that sort of pain – and they did not know those kids for over twenty years! They knew those kids for a week tops, and twice they knew for an hour and they didn't get over them so could you imagine what it would be like for you to go die."

"I can't go back," Amelia argued childishly. "I'm scared. Because Ryan and Tom, they were too late. I'm the most damaged girl I know, and I know a hell of a lot of damaged people, but it's too late. Don't you see? I'm not Amelia any more, I'm just this big empty shell and I'm not gonna be able to go back to work, or date, or get married, or have kids because he has destroyed me. He made me his. He had ruined my life and, I don't even know where he is, or if he is alive, but he has ruined my life. I can't go back to how I was, I can't go back at all because I am not me." Her voice cracked with emotion as she argued her cause.

"You can go back, cos you seriously wanna not be with Ryan when he and Kate get married, or have kids, cos you have to admit that they are PERFECT for each other." The first thing that actually worked on her came out of Rachel's mouth – shocker.

"What? You mean... Ry and Kate... They're gonna get married?"

"No, if you stay here, no. Kate will get depressed and Ryan will do his best but she will just push him away until they just aren't together any more."

"Ryan will NEVER move on from you, you're his best friend."

"We've been partners for eight months."

"And he's dating ya sister." Taylor smiled. "You have to go back Amy, you have more than me and Rachel, and you know it. You can't leave them." Feeling Taylor squeeze her hand, Amelia returned the smile before closing her eyes.

**You found me, you found me. **

"She's waking up, Kate, if you two would like to see her." Lisa smiled. The mood around the hospital was depressing. Not only had they just lost one of their own, they had seen the condition someone who had been kept with Taylor was in. Also, the police force – especially Ryan, Tom, and Amelia – were close to a tight-knit group of doctors that Kate had started her residency with. Kate returned her other best friend the smile, trying to keep her mind on her _living _sister and not her dead best friend.

"Thanks Dr-"

"It's Lisa." She smiled at the hot guy that Kate was dating. "You caught yourself a good one there Kate." Ryan looked very uncomfortable, and Kate seemed to enjoy it.

"I know, seems like my unlucky streak is finally over." She laughed quietly before wrapping her arm around Ryan's waist and entering Amelia's room.

**A/N: I'm ready to fall asleep now, but I have Casualty to catch up on and the next chapter to start on so please review. Review is like coffee – it makes me a mini-Amelia :) **


	9. Goodbye?

**Authors note: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Song: Trust me by the Fray!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own the show or the lyrics! **

**Just a small warning; grab the tissues, keep them close. **

_Happiness feels a lot like sorrow, let it be, you can't make it come or go. _

_But you are gone- not for good but for now, gone for now feels a lot like gone for good.  
Happiness damn near destroys you, breaks your faith to pieces on the floor.  
So you tell yourself, that's enough for now. Happiness has a violent roar – Happiness, The Fray_

_People use barriers to protect themselves, it is a basic human instinct. We do not like to accept help, we do not want people to see us in times of vulnerability or weakness. We prefer to hide how we are feeling. Hiding behind a mask is also another known way of protecting ourselves. People do this every day, and it comes mostly in two simple words: I'm fine. - Anonymous. _

"Okay, I am seriously creped out. Black car followed me here, was parked across the street but it's gone now." Amelia took off her coat and placed it on a hook near the door. She had plastered the fake smile on her face as she always did when in company with anyone other than her family.

"You seen it before?" Calleigh asked.

"Yeah, a few times in New York, same license plates and everything. Today, on the way to the hospital and believe it or not, they have food there." She added at the look on Calleigh's face.

"That, is not food!" Eric called from the kitchen.

"It's edible, that's good enough for me!" Amelia shouted back. "Is he cooking?" Calleigh nodded as the two made their way into the living room. "Edible?" Calleigh laughed quietly and nodded again. "Thank god."

**Looking for something I've never seen **

"Hold on," Amelia laughed as she tried to answer her phone and stop the protests at the same time.

"Amy!" Calleigh groaned.

"It's the hospital." That made any protests – and smiles – die down immediately. Amelia couldn't get rid of the worry that she had felt when she had seen the familiar I.D flash up on the phone. "Carter?" She answered professionally. She was not giving anyone any more reasons to send her to a shrink. "Uh Huh... Erm, no I don't know anyone who would fit that description, why?" She closed her eyes at the words. "Okay, how... Oh... O-Okay, yeah, bye." Slowly, she opened her eyes and hung up the phone. "Ryan... He's deteriorating. They said that it's time..."

"Time?" Eric asked, any plans to make Amelia actually eat had completely gone out of the metaphorical window.

"To say goodbye," Somehow Amelia was being unbelievably calm about this. "I think we should skip dinner." The other two silently nodded. "And someone should call Talia, and H, I think they will want to know, and... you know..." Calleigh and Eric nodded again, partially in shock.

**Alone and I'm in between  
The place that I'm from and  
The place that I'm in  
A city I've never been **

"Hey Amy," Natalia smiled as she answered her phone. The smile disappeared instantly when Amelia told her the reason for her call. "Oh God," Natalia felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest. Ryan, her best friend, was going to be dead soon and there was nothing that they could do about it. "Amelia, I'm so sorry." Although all she wanted to do now was drink herself to oblivion, to forget about everything and sit in a bar on her own, she knew that she had to go and see Ryan, just one last time, plus Amelia was going to need all of the support she could get. "Yeah, I'm on my way."

**I found a friend or should I say foe  
Said there's a few things you should know **

By the time that they had reached the hospital, Amelia had managed to make the painful phone call to Natalia, and to her family. Max was already there. April and Ava were probably terrorizing the streets and other drivers as they made their was to the hospital. Johnny and Joe were giving their parents and sisters (Grace and Ruby) a lift to the hospital. Tom, Harry and Daniel were flying in from England. The group of three made their way up to the ICU floor with saddened expressions on their faces. A doctor was already there to greet them, and even he had a grim expression on his face. "Miss Carter?" Amelia nodded, wondering if he was going to say that this was all just a mistake and Ryan was improving.

"Yes? How's he doing?" Max was at her side, having already heard the doctors words. She held Amelia's arm comfortingly, moving her hand up and down it soothingly.

"Unfortunately, he is deteriorating. The only option we have left is the ventilator-"

"No." Amelia interrupted much to the surprise of Calleigh and Eric. Max seemed to understand her sisters decision and was silently nodding in agreement.

"Well, I am afraid that there is not much we can do." The doctor informed them.

"I know, thank you." They could all tell that she was fighting back tears, and thankfully, the nurse and doctor caught on too, and left hastily. As soon as they were out of sight, Amelia let herself collapse onto one of the chairs. Max sat next to her, running her hand up her sisters arm soothingly, an art she had mastered back in New York whenever Amelia had the nightmares. Amelia looked at Calleigh and Eric and got herself ready for the onslaught of questions that would undoubtedly come her way.

"You wanna explain to us why you said no?" Calleigh was the first to speak, as she and Eric sat down.

"Yeah, prepare yourselves. When... When Kate had surgery, the second to last time, she signed a DNR." Max stopped her hand movement but let it rest on her arm, having to lean over to rest her elbow on her knee. "Me and Ryan begged her not to, but then we realised why. She had seen people on ventilators – some as patients, one was me, one was Ryan, and some were her friends – and she didn't want to end her life that way. Then, when she died, we couldn't even recognise her. We identified her because it had to be her, she was missing and Sophie was in the car with her and it had to be her. She was on a ventilator, they had put her on one so that we could say goodbye, and then we just decided that we didn't want to put put on ventilators again. We have living wills, mainly because Logan Wells," She took a deep breath to remove the fear in her voice, "is still out there and targeting us."

"Ames.." Max whispered. "You don't have to explain yourself."

Amelia ignored her. "And I'm sorry if you don't agree with it, but it's what he wants and I can't... The vent doesn't always work and he'd be less likely to wake up after they take him off it and I can't go against what he wants." She said, her voice cracking.

"It's okay, it's what he wants, right?" Calleigh decided not to argue with her reasoning because they couldn't risk another breakdown. She did not agree with Amelia's reasoning, but she did not say anything. Amelia was much closer to Ryan than her, and they had been through so much together and she had no right to change Amelia's mind.

But she didn't want to lose Ryan...

**We don't want you to see.**

"Hey Ry," Calleigh and Eric had been nominated to go first, Amelia wanted to go in last and stay until it happened. "I'm sorry, for not being a friend to you. I'm sorry for not always trusting you, and well, I'm sorry this had to happen to you." She could barely speak now as she was fighting back tears. Say something Ryan! Say it's okay, say you hate me, say anything just say something! "Bye Ryan..." With that she turned away and left the room, desperately needing to be alone.

Eric knew that she would want to be alone for a while until she composed herself, so he let her be. Instead, he walked over to Ryan's bed and held onto the bars at the side of it. "Hey Wolfe..." What do you say to someone who probably can't even hear you? What do you say to someone who you have been horrible to for years? What do you say to someone who is dying? He had no idea, but he thought that following Calleigh's lead and apologising would be a good start. "Wolfe, god... I'm sorry." He sat down in the chair and ran his hands over his face. This was so messed up. Hadn't Wolfe been through enough? Hadn't Amelia been through enough? He swallowed before continuing. "You think you can fight this? Then do it. Fight it, cos I know you can."

**We come and we go.**

**Here today gone tommorrow.**

"Ryan, why the hell did you go and get shot?" Natalia sighed and sat in the chair. "I love you Ryan – as a friend – and I don't want you to die. But if you are going to die, I want you to know that you are one of the most important people in my life. You and Amelia are my best friends, and you helped me through a lot and I don't want to say goodbye but I'm going to anyway," Natalia's voice cracked, and she bit back tears. I am not going to cry – in here at least. "Bye Ryan," She felt the tears in her eyes before she had even said the dreaded goodbye. She quickly rushed out of the room and slid down the nearest wall, letting sobs overtake her. Eric – who was still waiting for Calleigh – saw her do this and sat next to her. He pulled her into a hug and let her cry into his shoulder. He knew that Ryan had promised himself that Logan Wells would die before he could touch Amelia again, and now that Ryan was dying due to Logan Wells, Eric decided that he would take over that promise. He would kill Logan Wells before he could hurt another member of this team again.

**Were only taking turns  
Holding this world **

"Look, the only thing that you cannot do is put him on a ventilator, but is there any other way of, you know, keep him alive longer?" She asked the doctor hopefully. April and Ava were sitting in the chairs on the other side of the room, ready to step in for moral support. The doctor shook his head. "Damn... Erm, I'll be right back." Amelia gave the doctor a quick smile before walking into the ICU. She passed an obviously upset Natalia and a comforting Eric on her way and sent them a sympathetic look. They hadn't been here before and she had been here many times. Ryan, Kate, Tom, and herself- Oh you idiot! Call Tom when Ryan gets shot. She decided that was what she would do the second she had finished talking with Ryan.

"Ryan, I can't lose you. It is simple, so either you wake up this second and breathe for me, or I will give them permission for the ventilator." She stood at the side of his bed as she spoke, listening to his laboured breathing and looking at his slightly flushed face.

He was deteriorating. He had been fine when she had gone to visit him only seven hours ago. It simply amazed her how something could go from that to this. Shaking her head she continued. "I'm giving you two minutes, then I am going to tell the doctor to put you on the vent and – because he is single, don't ask how I know that – I shamelessly flirt with him when you wake up if you don't wake up now." She sat in the chair and let the agonizing two minutes pass.

He didn't wake up. "Well, you did- Ryan!" His chest was no longer moving. He had stopped breathing. She ran out into the hall and called for a doctor, before returning to his side. She grabbed his hand in what could be accurately described as a death grip. "Ryan, you have to breathe for me." The doctor was in the room now. "You can ventilate him," She said desperately. "Just keep him alive!" The doctor nodded and called for the nurse. "Ryan, come one breathe!" She whispered. Someone – who she guessed was Eric – pulled her away from the bed while the nurses and the doctor set to work. She had to tell him, she had to ask him again, so she did.

"Breathe!"

**It's how it's always been.**

**A/N: Should I be worried about sharp/blunt flying object flying at my head? Sorry about the cliff hanger, but it is a long chapter, so I hope you will forgive the shortness and review?**


	10. Slipped Away

_**Authors note: Thanks for the reviews! Are you ready for the one scene that I hated writing more than the last? Quite sad. But... After the next chapter... there will be a slightly-happy-I-Love-You-Conversation-Chapter :) **_

_**Disclaimer: Own nothing! **_

_I miss you, miss you so bad  
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad_

_I hope you can hear me  
I remember it clearly – Avril Lavigne, Slipped Away/ I miss you._

Detective Tom Bennett arrived at the crime scene grimly. Two unidentified bodies were stuck in a burning car – both alive, one unconscious and badly burnt, another one was a child. He hated any case that involved a child, as they always seemed to remind him of his own children when they were young. Shaking his head, he made his way over to the car and let his eyes rest on a sight that would haunt him for many years to come. "Sophie!" The daughter of the man he thought of as a son was in a burning car, trapped and possibly fighting for her life. Her face lit up when she saw him but it was obvious to anyone that she was scared out of her mind. Her face held a mix of tear stains and blood, and what worried Tom was that some of it was coming from a nasty cut on her head which he knew undoubtedly would lead to a concussion.

By now, he was kneeling at the car door, close enough so that he could hold Sophie's free hand, but giving the emergency services enough space to work on getting the doors open. "Uncle Tom, I'm scared!" She sobbed.

"Shush, calm down there sweetie, you're gonna be okay, I promise you." Tom reassured, keeping his eyes on the younger Wolfe. He couldn't bring himself to look at Kate's damaged body and face. "You're going to be alright..."

Over the next few minutes they managed to get the doors open. Kate and Sophie were placed on stretchers and taken to the hospital. Tom had ordered the other police officers on the scene to get the 'geek squad' here, and then he had mentioned that the victims were Kate and Sophie Wolfe. This was – to all officers, not just Tom – the only case in New York that mattered. He then got into the ambulance with Sophie (Kate wasn't going to wake up any time soon according to the paramedics, and Sophie needed a familiar face).

**In the end  
Everyone ends up alone **

"Hey Ava." Ryan greeted emerging from his and Kate's room. "She's already at the hospital, taken Sophie with her." Ava nodded before sitting down/collapsing onto the couch..

"April's working overtime with that corrupt... annoying..." She shook her head. "He has five dropped charges of assault on his wrap, and she is willingly working with him? God, if he lays a hand on her he will never know what hit him... I need wine, quickly please."

"You know where everything is, I'm trying to pack all of Kate's stuff." He answered before going back into the bedroom.

Ava rolled her eyes before yelling, "You want me to pack? I usually get it done about 5 million times faster than you and I don't want to get up! Crazy guy with sister if you don't remember!"

"I'd like her to be able to find something." Came the answer before the slamming of a door.

Ava shook her head at her brother-in-law and muttered something along the lines of 'Stupid... OCD' but with much stronger language. Before she had the chance to yell back an answer, Amelia entered the apartment. Upon seeing her sister, she understood.

"April with creepo?" Ava nodded. "Well, we'll go see Katie when Ry finishes packing... On that thought, and knowing how long he takes, I am going to get you some wine because that will calm you down-" The ringing of the phone stopped her. "After I answer this." She smiled before heading over to the phone. She answered it with a smile that soon disappeared when she heard Tom's tone of voice. "Tom? What..." She grabbed the table that the phone was kept on for support. Ava was looking at her with that worried look of hers. "Are you sure?" She was fighting tears now. "110% sure... How bad did... Both of them?" A small feeling of relief washed over her when she heard that Sophie hadn't been injured that bad, and that the results of Kate's surgery hadn't reached them yet so they didn't know if it was good or bad – she hoped for good news personally. "Do you know how... Okay, yeah, I'll get them there... Yes! I will be safe... Bye Tom." She slowly put the phone back down on the receiver and turned back to Ava.

Ava noticed the look on her younger sisters face ad frowned. "Amy, what's happened?" Amelia swallowed but remained silent. "Amelia Carter, answer me!"

"Erm... Get Ryan..."

"Ryan, Amelia wants you. Looks ready to faint so get the hell in here!" Ryan was in the room within seconds. He saw the look on Amelia's face and started to get worried himself.

"Amy, what's happened?" He asked, keeping his distance.

"There's... There's been an accident. Kate and Sophie... their car was hit, possible drunk driver... or him." They all knew what him meant – Logan Wells. Ryan had sat down in the chair looking like he was in shock. Ava's eyes were wide and had the beginnings of tears in them. "K-Kate was badly burnt on her side but Sophie only has a few cuts and scrapes. Ava- Ava!" Ava snapped out of her daze and nodded at her sister. "Can you go get April and Max, I was supposed to get Max on the way to the hospital at around seven and it's six now, so-" Ava nodded. "I'll get Ryan." Ava didn't even bother with her normal reassuring smile as she left the apartment. Amelia was being surprisingly, well, sane about it.

Ryan was staring at a spot of the floor, obviously lost in his own thoughts. Amelia mentally scolded herself – wife, daughter, car crash, who wouldn't react like him. A name did enter her mind but she didn't dwell on it too long. "Ryan, come on, Sophie needs her daddy." Ryan nodded slowly before getting up and leaving with Amelia.

**Losing her**

"Ryan," Lisa noticed her best friends husband rushing down the hall and felt the onslaught of emotion wash upon her again. Damn! She had just gotten her emotions in check and had told Det. Bennett the news and now she had to tell Ryan! "Ryan." She repeated slower when he reached her. He recognised that tone of voice – so did Amelia – and shook his head. "I'm so sorry." Tom reached out a hand and pulled Ryan into a seat, stopping him from collapsing. Amelia took a deep breath before letting herself collapse against the wall. She ran her hands through her hair and fought back tears.

"Sophie, she know yet." Lisa looked at the floor, trying to keep back tears.

"Ryan, her injuries were worse than she was letting on," He started shaking his head, refusing to let himself believe what he thought she was about to say. Lisa swallowed and looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "She had what we thought was a concussion, it was a bleed in the brain. We think we got to it in time, but, oh God, Ryan, I'm so sorry, she..." Lisa turned away, unable to continue. To hell with being a professional about this – she had just lost her freaking best friend!

"Sophie is a coma son." Tom finished for her, his own voice shaking. If someone had told him that morning that he would be telling Ryan that his already-dying-wife was dead and that his daughter was currently in a coma with little chance of waking up he would have laughed and called them crazy, but now it was happening.

Amelia let her head drop to her chest and closed her eyes tightly. She was unbelievably good at hiding her emotions now, and she wanted nothing more than to just slip back into that numb period after she had been released from the hospital were nothing else mattered and were she felt nothing. Right now, the pain was worse than anything he had done to her, worse than watching your two friends die a slow painful death because of you, worse than watching Kate go through so much pain. It felt like her heart had been ripped from her chest. She didn't know how else to describe it. Kate was her sister, her freaking sister and now her sister was...

"You," Lisa had turned back to them, having kind-of composed herself. "You can go see them both, Kate... They've put her on life-support so that the families can say their goodbyes. Sophie is in the room next to her, she's... she's on a vent."

**The only one who's ever known.**

**A/N: I would continue but my charger is nowhere to be found and I want to get this up now :) Reviews are like coffee – I am a mini-Amelia when I get them! **


	11. Family and eyes

**Authors notes: I am so sorry! I mean, triple times more than normal sorry :S This is a mainly OC chapter but will include some characters from the show too :D**

**Disclaimer: Seriously? Own nothing from the show. **

**Red Angel: Chapter 11.**

The anxious group sat in the waiting room, lost in their thoughts. Amelia looked around nervously while she waited for the doctor, and felt a sort of relief wash over her. Ryan's people were here, and that made her a little bit happier.

Grace and Ruby were passing coffee around to their family and the people that they had been told to be Ryan and Amelia's friends. Amelia's parents were downstairs, fussing over something – God knows what – with Max. April and Ava were doing their best to comfort Amelia and keep themselves from falling apart at the same time. Joe and Johnny were sitting in the corner of the room, still trying to piece everything together.

And that was just her family.

Natalia was looking lost. Eric and Calleigh were attached at the hip again, and no one had a clue where Horatio was. Probably hunting down suspects and letting 'Mick' in with them, she thought with a smirk. Part of her almost felt sorry for the drunk/junkie/thief/killer that got caught by Horatio and the wrong time.

"Remember the wedding day?" April suddenly said.

"Who could forget?" This time it was Ava that spoke, a slight hint of happiness in her voice, mingled in with the sorrow, the regret, and the pain.

"She had, what, 30 bridesmaids." April over-exaggerated.

"I think it was a bit less than that. Me, you, Ava, Grace, Ruby, Mary, Lisa, Max, Cristina. That's nine, you were 21 out." Amelia informed them. "But she did go bridezilla on us."

"Don't remind me. I was actually scared when I told her about mine." Ava glanced at her sister while laughing.

"And mine." April added.

"Her room was like a bridal store."

"Ryan acted very stupid then. He let her loose with the magazines." Ava smiled, before the room fell into silence once more.

* * *

"Finally!" She smiled as she saw his eyes flutter open. "You okay? In pain? Getting a headache from my rants?" He smiled, but she could see that he was becoming tired quickly.

"M' kay."

"Good answer." She smiled again before resting her head on the side of Ryan's bed. "Get some sleep, or I'll drink coffee."

_**A/N Rubbish ending, but I have another story to add to the series that should be up soon :D **_


End file.
